Ann Arbor Triathlon Club

Dating a Triathlete

Here's a list of explanations of how English differs from "Triathlete-speak" in the wonderful world of relationships. I can't take credit for this one, but felt it was funny enough to pass along — I can't decide if it's amusing or distressing when particular paragraphs hit close to home.

"I am an outdoors type of person." Really means: I train in any type of weather. If it's raining, snowing, 90 degrees w/100 percent humidity, or winds gusting at 30 mph. I don't want to hear any complaints because I will still train in it and you're just a big wuss for complaining about it.

"I enjoy riding my bike." Really means: with or w/o aero bars, alone or in a
peleton, I don't care. If you can't do a spur of the moment 30 miler then
you're not my type. I will let you draft, but if you can't hang and I drop
you - I will see you later. I am a capable mechanic, but don't expect me to
change your flats or tune your bike. You need to learn that on your own.

"I enjoy jogging." Really means: Let's run hills until we puke. I have just
as many shoes as you only mine are better because they are functional and
all look the same.

"I enjoy dining out." Really means: I enjoy eating out, in or anywhere else
I can find food. Don't be shy because with the amount of food I eat, you can
have that main entree instead of a salad and you will still look as though
you eat like a rabbit in comparison. Don't get your limbs too close though
as I may take a bite out of you. Most importantly don't expect any taste off
my plate unless you can bring something to the party like more food.
Eventually though if your not burning 4,000 calories a day your going to
plump up and have a terrible complex due to watching me eat deserts and not
gain any weight. Friends and family will eventually decide not to dine with
us anymore due to my horrid table manners. Oh, and don't ask me any
questions during breakfast, Mid Morning Lunch, Lunch, Afternoon lunch,
dinner or Recovery Dinner as it does not lend to efficient food intake.

"I enjoy quiet walks on the beach." Really means: Walks on the beach warming
up into an 8 mile run and then plunging myself in the ocean for a 2 miler.
If you get in my way you're going to find out what mass start is and let me
assure you that you don't want to find out.

"I find fulfillment in charitable work." Really means: If I am not racing, I
am volunteering and I expect you to be there along side me as I stand out in
90 degree weather for 8 hours handing out sports drink to cyclists going 20
mph. Just stick the ol' arm out there and hope it doesn't get taken off.

"I enjoy sharing quiet moments together." Really means: It's taper time.
Just back off because I am strategizing and in a pissy mood because I am
worried about my "A" race and can't workout.

"I am an active person." Really means: Aside from my 40 hour job, and the 8
mandatory hours of sleep a night. 10 hours a week are devoted to me during
the off-season and 20 during race season leaving us 4 hours. 2 of which are
spent inhaling food and you not talking to me, so let's make the best of the
2 hours we will spend together on average each day. If you are a licensed
message therapist or doctor this would make the most optimal use of our time
together. Nutritionist is also acceptable, but I probably already know just
as much as you.

"I enjoy road trips and leisurely drives." Really means: You have your
choice of Wisconsin, Idaho, Florida, California, Arizona, and Canada, but
don't expect to do much site seeing. If I get enough support from you we
might be able to include Hawaii in there.

"I enjoy site seeing." Really means: Lets grab a mountain bike and get our
HR's up to 90%. There's plenty of time to look around on the descent as
trees and bushes whiz by you at 40 mph.

"I like stimulating conversation." Really means: while we are running, we
can talk about food. Then we can talk about how we decided what to wear on
this run based on the temperature at start time versus the temperature at
the time we expect to finish, how horribly out of shape we are, how many
miles we did last week, and how many we will do this week and next week.
Then we can talk about food.

"I enjoy relaxing soaks in the tub." Really Means: I'm going to stop on the
way home and buy two bags of ice, throw them in the tub with some water, and
sit in this torture chamber for 30 minutes.

"I'm interested in photography" Really Means: My camera is permanently
perched a tripod in front of my trainer. I obsess over taking photos of my
bike position and analyzing them to get the perfect setup.

"I'm into in technology" Really Means: My HRM and bike computer are my best
friends. Until you can give me some hard data that can improve my training,
don't bother trying to buddy up to me. You could one day break into the top
three if I find you as entertaining on long runs and rides as my mp3 player.

If anyone knows who wrote this originally, I'd love to cite them proper credit.

--Jonathan

2007 Goals #2

Excellent! Seeing the first round of season goals posted did inspire people to submit their own. Without any more rambling on my part, here they are...

Number and types of races:

• Sign up and complete 2 tris this year. I had hoped to do my first olympic distance tri this summer but my training plan doesn't exist yet so...


• Come up with a training plan


• Complete at least 3 triathlons.


• Compete in four triathlons.


• Complete my first Half Ironman.

• Take at least 6 minutes off my Ann Arbor Triathlon time from last year.

• Improve my running skills (or lack thereof)


• Avoid injury (ironically, don't run too much)


• Attend at least 2 group swims at Silver Lake


• Include 1 speedwork run and some speed drills on the bike per week.


• Attend some of the bricks (do you know I have never been able to do a workout with the club?)


• Focus on improving my swimming and biking times.

Au revoir!:

• Enjoy my last summer in Ann Arbor.

Good luck, everyone! And a fond farewell to one member departing for sunnier races at the end of the season. Don't hesitate to send in your own goals — it's certainly not too late to set a few for the season. jonathan@aatriclub.org

Taking a line —
     J. Woodard

2007 Goals #1

So much for posting these first thing Monday... I guess I meant "first thing monday, for extremely large values of 'Monday.'" Anyway, I held off because I was hoping for more, but maybe seeing these will inspire others to post their goals as well.

First, some encouraging words of wisdom from one responder:

I think you have a great idea! I possess a huge amount of inertia and without goals won’t do anything. I liked your goals!

I'm seeing a lot of themes emerging from people's lists, so I'm going to cluster them by topic:

Number and types of races:

• I certainly hope to accomplish as many, or nearly as many Tri's as last year.


• Finish the Soma Half Ironman (my first half – 10/28 in Tempe, AZ)


• Race at least 2 others (Ann Arbor and either Waterloo or Sylvania)


• Complete my first century

Specific races:

• Marine Corp marathon,


• Knock 15 minutes off my time at Steelhead Half Ironman


• Dex/A2 half with a pace of 8:30


• Steelhead half, cutting 15 minutes off from last year….so under 6 hours.

General Training/Fitness:

• Stop swimming scared!


• Better nutrition during races


• Read up on good dietary principles for endurance sports (I have Joel Friel’s “Going Long” and another book I need to find….)


• Actually use those principles


• I plan to keep fit, try not to lose too much weight, and enjoy this short Michigan Summer.

Uniquely awesome goals:

• Head to Europe for 2 weeks for big time R&R


• Stop using beer as my primary recovery beverage (secondary is OK, I think), at least until the end of the season.

I hope reading these makes you wish you'd sent in yours as well, and I'll post another list once I get a few. *Also,* if you've already completed any races this year — Last Stand comes to mind — send me race reports!

Taking a line —
     J. Woodard

Season Goals!

One time I heard a quote that said the best way to accomplish things is to set goals and use them as milestones for your efforts. I couldn't find it online anywhere, so maybe I made it up. Or I couldn't remember the quote exactly, and that's why I couldn't find it. Either way, the logic seems sound. To that end, I think this year's newsletter theme will be about Goals. Setting them, aiming for them, and accomplishing them. (Of course, this doesn't mean you should stop sending me "First Time" stories à la last year's theme.)

Any goals you submit, I'm going to post anonymously — we can consider them club goals; many of us train together, we all cheer each other at races, and we earn MERCRS points collectively. When any of us are successful, the club is successful, and vice-versa. To get things rolling, I'll offer up some of my own goals as a guinea pig. I'm hoping to:

• Knock 30 minutes off of my time from last year's Ann Arbor Tri.


• Defeat former president Tim Furbacher in hand-to-hand combat.


• Get my copy of The Triathlete's Training Bible back (I loaned it out over the winter.)


• Get a body like Daniel Craig's by the end of the summer.


• Finish at least three races (Ann Arbor, Waterloo, Sylvania.)

(One of these isn't actually a goal of mine. Determining which is left as an exercise for the reader.)

So take a few minutes, and think about what you're hoping to accomplish this year! Doesn't need to be anything elaborate, just a simple list, since I know everyone is no doubt busy with their training schedules. How about everyone send them to me at jonathan@aatriclub.org by Sunday, and I'll post the list first thing monday. Though, if a lot of them are "Survive Dexter-Ann Arbor Half Marathon," maybe I'll post those sooner :)

At the end of the season, I'll get back in touch with everyone who submitted goals, and publish a list of all the ones that were accomplished. I can't wait to hear what you're all aiming for this year!

Taking a line —
     J. Woodard

Ironman Wisconsin Race Report

Here is Adrienne O’Day's EPIC report from her race in the Wisconsin Ironman on September 10:

The day started early, 4:30am to be exact, when the alarm went off. I hardly wanted to get out of bed. But today was ironman day, so I got up, shook the sleep off, and warmed up my patented race breakfast in the microwave. French toast. I managed to get down 3 of the 4 pieces. I have used this for race morning breakfasts since high school. I knew this would work for my stomach. We got in the car, parked, and took the shuttle to the race site. I was very glad Ken was with me, he diffuses any race morning jitters I have. I added a few items to my T1 & T2 bags, and started heading on towards the swim start. On the way there, it started to rain. As I was moving along, I noticed I was the only one still holding my ‘dry clothes’ bag. I asked the nearest wetsuit clad stranger if he knew where to put them. I had already passed the drop off for those bags, so I went back and plopped it in the pile.

I waited in a crowd to enter the water. I heard the pros start and I was still waiting on dry land. Finally the crowd got moving again and I got into the water, bobbing on out towards the start line. I lined up somewhere a little closer to the center and in the 3rd “row” of people. The cannon went off, and everyone surged forward. I immediately started getting pummeled. I tried to remain calm and reminded myself that this is just how it would be. At the first turn, it seemed like everyone stopped. I bobbed for a few minutes, and commented to the guy next to me that I hated swimming with ‘men’. The return straightaway was odd. As soon as I made the second turn to head back, it immediately seemed more choppy and it felt like I was plowing through the waves. My face slapped the water, and I saw whitecaps. I also had parts of the swim where I couldn’t see the buoys ahead, my view would be periodically blocked by a wave. I further realized the difficulty of the back straightaway when I got on the outgoing straightaway again for loop 2. All of a sudden, I felt like those turtles in “Finding Nemo”. Schoom! I could feel I was going much faster, and it was like, “oh, that’s why the return stretch was so hard.” I vowed I would never do this again just based on how badly I was pummeled in the swim. I had taken a good kick to the diaphram, legs, face, head and had someone try to swim over me.

Finally, I got out of the water. I ran along and a “peeler” waved me down. I laid down on the indoor/outdoor carpeting and they peeled that wetsuit right off! I ran up the spiral parking structure ramp and headed indoors to grab my T1 bag. I put on my bike stuff with the help of a very nice lady in the women’s changing room. I brought a jersey, arm warmers, knee warmers, and gloves. I was glad I had all of it. Did I mention it was still raining???

I stopped in the port-a-potty during T1. I got my bike handed off to me and I headed out on the bike. I knew it was going to be a long day. It was about 55 and raining with a stiff wind. I took it easy on the first loop, I was eating, drinking, and doing OK. I made a restroom stop, and that was kind of icky because I had to wait in line. It seemed like it took forever to get in to the port-a-potty! At least I knew I was hydrated. Near the port-a-potty there was a tent, and all these guys were sitting in chairs huddled in blankets. After I headed out again, it seemed much colder. The bike course is brutally hilly as well. A bit different from what we have here around Michigan. I hit a maximum speed of 41mph, and there were several 5mph uphills. It’s either UP or DOWN. I used some of those uphills to try to warm up. It only lasted a short while.

I finished the first loop, got to the special needs bag pick up area and decided I was going to put the bag on. I put the spare tube that was in my special needs bag in my jersey pocket, and I put a hole in the bag for my head, and two holes for my arms. I was rather cold and wet, and I figured even this goofy plastic bag would block the wind and maybe keep me a little bit warmer.

Barely a mile down the road from picking up my special needs bag, I got a flat tire. My rear went slowly flat. I had a horrendous time getting the tire off the bike. It just would not come off! Finally, in a fit of frustration, I threw my bike down on someone’s lawn. Magically, the wheel then popped out. I got the old tube out, then checked for debris. I put the new tube in, and started feeding the tire bead back on the wheel. I had about 4 inches to go, and my fingers were just so cold and so stiff I couldn’t get the tire back on. I was looking around frantically for the support crew. People were whizzing by me like crazy, and all I could think was how much time I was losing. I was so frustrated, I kept trying to get the tire back on but couldn’t. My hands hurt. Just about when I was ready to give up, it somehow popped back on. I looked at it in amazement! I took my CO2 inflator and blew it up. That is when I saw the hole in my tire. I was convinced my ironman was over. It was smack dab in the middle of the tread. However, it seemed to be holding air. I put the wheel back on, thinking, well, I have 2 more tubes, let’s just see how far I get. I had also dropped my chain, so I worked that back on as well.

I headed on – worrying that at every downhill my tire was going to fail me again. Incredibly, I made it through the second loop. At the end of the second loop, in the town of Verona, I made my second port-a-potty stop. It was so much colder to get going again! As I headed back on the 16 mile stretch to T2, the fierce headwind about knocked me down. The wind seemed to cut through the plastic bag even. By the way, I got quite a few compliments on my ‘special needs bag’ that I was wearing.

I definitely needed to be ‘caught’ at the end of the bike. There was a crowd of about 10 people at the end of the bike leg. As someone was taking my bike away, I thought, gee, do they really know where it’s supposed to go? I headed in. I grabbed my T2 bag and headed into the women’s changing room. I was so cold. I could barely take my bike clothes off. They were completely soaked. When I finally got my stuff off, I found a towel and dried off. Then there was the task of getting dressed. I was so glad to get into my warm dry running clothes. I was glad I put the long sleeve running top in my T2 bag. It was very tough to get dressed. I couldn’t clasp my hat, and I could barely get my socks on. I was glad I had put a 2nd pair of socks in there for the run – figuring maybe a fresh pair might feel nice, no matter what the weather. I had the gal next to me clasp my running hat. The woman on the other side of me was shivering uncontrollably and a medical volunteer was checking her out. There were quite a few women huddling and shivering in those ‘aluminum foil’ blankets. A volunteer asked me if I wanted a garbage bag and I said “yes!” So I left T2 wearing a beautiful full length garbage bag, thinking, what on earth am I doing here? My mind could not even think about how far I had to run. I am not sure why I even left T2. I just headed out the door.

Ken saw me leave T2 and he laughed. He gave me a quick kiss and a hug and told me to get going. It was still raining. I started running and I felt quite a bit warmer than I had on the bike. I was totally thankful for the garbage bag. At mile 1.5 I saw my friend Edie Sherman and she yelled at me that I’d better not give up. She sounded angry. I thought, man, is she going to come over here and kick my butt? Then I thought, well, maybe I look pretty bad. I kept running. Running a lap through Camp Randall stadium (mile 3) was kind of neat. I walked up about the only hill in the course next to this tall thin guy who was on his second lap. He was saying, “Oh, I’ll be so glad when I get to mile 19.” I told him, “Must be nice, I’m on my first lap.” He looked at me with a look that indicated he felt a bit sorry for me and we chatted a bit more as we chugged up the hill. Mainly about how cruddy the weather was.

Edie caught up to me (her 2nd lap, my 1st) and gave me a hug, and ran with me just a little way. She really encouraged me. I told her it was so nice to see a friendly face, and she agreed. When I reached the first turnaround, there were Christmas lights strung up, and music jamming, and the food smells from the restaurants were driving me crazy. It was quite the party. I’m sure there were many beers being consumed too. The Wisconsin run course folds back on itself a couple of times throughout the 13 mile loop.

As I approached the run turn around (at the 13 mile mark), people were cheering and shouting to me that I was almost done. I shook my head and tried to ignore them. The run turn around is about 200 yds from the finish line. It was brutal. Right at the turn around I saw Alex and another gal I knew from triathlons. Ken found me about half a mile to mile 14. He jogged along and told me I looked great. I was hurting. He said if I could just make it to mile 14, I could walk the rest of the run and still make the midnight deadline. He really cheered me up. I made the decision I would try to run to mile 17. I had already been running but walking through the aid stations to get food and drink down. The hot chicken broth was so wonderful. It was so cold and nasty out, it was super to have something warm and hot.

I ran up to mile 16, and I walked and ran and walked and ran to mile 17. I was struggling to keep running. I would start up running a bit, then revert to walking. Then I’d try again. When I saw the mile 17 sign, I checked my watch. I knew I had enough time to finish, and I just couldn’t run any more. I was now walking for good. Everything on my body hurt. My knees killed, which worried me a bit. My hips ached. I could feel blisters sprouting on my feet, thanks to the fact that they had been soaked for quite some time now.

I knew I was going to make the deadline when I reached mile 20 and I still had 2 and a half hours to finish. Mile 23 was called the “motivational mile” where you could have sent yourself a special message – your timing chip triggered it on the large electronic billboard. There was also an announcer there, encouraging people as they went along. He shouted into the microphone, over the blaring music, “you have plenty of time to finish, you’re going to be an ironman tonight!” and “I see some more ironmen coming along!” That’s when I started crying a bit. A lady passed me, jogging, and asked me how I was doing. I told her I was just tired of being wet and cold and I just didn’t want to be doing this any more. But I kept walking.

After mile 23, I don’t think I bothered to eat or drink any more. I just wanted to be done so badly, I didn’t want to take the time to do anything but keep moving towards that finish line. I think I had visited the port-a-potties about 5 times during the marathon. I kept thinking, well, at least I’m hydrated.

Ken found me again at mile 25.5. He almost didn’t see me. It was very dark on that part of the course. He almost walked right by me. He walked with me a ways, telling me I was totally going to make it on time, which was right. Just before I went around the corner for the finish, I ditched my garbage bag, my glow necklace, and kept on trucking.

There weren’t as many people at the finish as when I finished my first run loop. There were still a fair amount of people there though, screaming and cheering. The announcer was saying all kinds of things about me. That it was my first ironman. I hit the finish line, and I heard him say, “Adrienne O’Day, you are an ironman!”

I got through the finish and a nice lady grabbed my arm and hung on to me. She and another kind gentleman asked me what size t-shirt I wanted. I said, “What do you think, a small?” They affirmed, saying the shirts were running large. Then they took me aside to get my picture taken under this tent with my finisher medal on. Then I was handed my bag o’ goodies and I headed for the warmth of the great indoors. I had made it, with roughly a half an hour to spare. 16:32 and change. I was done!

After I got my stuff, and I got my dry warm clothes back on, we headed to the shuttle to take us back to the car. After midnight, and it had finally stopped raining. I about fell down when we got back to the hotel and I got out of the car. I could barely stand up. Ken helped me inside. I was feeling horrible! I was glad our shower had a handicapped handle in it. The shower felt pretty good. I felt so scungy! I don’t even remember falling asleep.

Getting up the next day was fun. I was moving like a 90 year old. Then, when we were driving home in the car, we were scared to death by a loud BLAM!!!! Ken said, “That was your tire”. I replied, “Good thing it didn’t blow on the course.” Then I looked back again. “Ken, that was my FRONT tire.” We looked at each other with a look of horror and amazement on our faces. My front tire had slipped off the bead and exploded. They were two brand new tires. We have no idea why it waited until Monday morning to slip and explode. My rear tire with the hole in it was still holding air. Freaky!

We stopped at a rest area on the way home and Ken could get to the bathroom and back again before I was even halfway there in the first place. I was definitely not moving very fast at all!

I accomplished the goal of finishing. The weather certainly didn’t make things easy on me. It was probably a more formidable opponent than the course itself. I also found out later that the winds were roughly 20mph that day. What a long day. I’m glad triathlon season is over for the year. I’m looking forward to fixing up our house, and a little bit of cyclocross racing.